One year and 9 days.

AHA HA,

So this is why people go out and get totally smashed when they get dumped.

I can totally sympathize with them right now. I mean, getting a hangover the next morning probably feels 17 million times better than getting dumped.

And…it wasn’t a huge, explosive breakup. I don’t want to imagine how shitty THAT kind would feel.

But she still wants to be friends.

Normally, that’s a good thing. Right? That’s probably seen as one of the ‘better’ kinds of break ups.

But I feel like I just lost my best friend when she ended it. It’ll never be the same as before we went out. I really, really wish it could be. Nothing’s that easy, of course.

It’s so much easier to deal with when I’m not with her. Because whenever I’m with her, alone or not, I feel like I’m somehow crossing an invisible boundary line. Before and during our relationship, I was always somehow special. But now…when it’s her and her friends, I feel like I’m in the way and I suddenly wish I were somewhere else.

Ugh, god. Just writing this is making me choke up.

I don’t think people really see how badly this is affecting me. Especially her. I can’t ever remember crying for that long and hard after infancy. The only one who saw me cry my eyes out about this was Athena. It’s strange how she’s the one who comforts me even though we never hang out anymore.

And I don’t even know how she really feels about it.

All I know is that she was afraid of my reaction. But really, there wasn’t much to be afraid of. I’m not gonna fucking punch her in the face. Like, I don’t know what she expected. She’s the one who ended it…

Haha, best comic relief for that?

When I told my mom, she was like, “I WANT MY DAMN FLOWERS BACK!” [That was my anniversary gift my mom helped me buy]